FORGIVENESS IN THE MARRIED LIFE, DYNAMIC OF LOVE
FORGIVENESS IN THE MARRIED LIFE, DYNAMIC OF LOVE
Josée et Odon MUBILANZILA Josée and Odon Mubilanzila
Josée and Odon Mubilanzila are already known to our readers.
». An article from them appeared in the No. 144 on the "joy of
living in harmony." They have been married 24 years and have three
They are, among others, marriage counselors, and conduct seminars and conferences for married
couples and engaged.
Several works are due to their pens.
Apologize or forgive is an act of humility to reach significant
characteristic of human relationships, especially love, is a privilege of the
In a couple in difficulty or conflict, reconciliation is of course recommended, but
it is inconceivable outside of forgiveness, which alone is able to discover the
mystery of God's love for spouses as well as his greatness.
Indeed, when we forgive, realizing the enormity of the immeasurable
love and mercy of God, we can really claim to love as God loves us. Thus, it is also forgiving love. The Bible tells us it not in 1 Cor 13.7 that "Love forgives everything," "endures all things"?
The biblical foundation of forgiveness in human relationships and,
therefore, in the couple, based on:
- reconciliation and unity (Matthew 5:23-24; 12.25);
- The need for harmony (Amos 3.3);
- Fellowship (Psalm 133);
- The compassion for others (Rom 5.1).
Forgiveness is unconditional between spouses, the example of Jesus Christ who forgave those who offended, insulted, beaten and killed. Thus every time we ask God's forgiveness, we forgive and forget. The same attitude we adopt towards our recommended partner.
Think about what it means in a relationship these two statements of the Lord,
"Forgive our trespasses as we also forgive those who trespass against
us" (Matthew 6.12), and "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar
and that there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your
gift there before the altar and go first be reconciled to your brother, then
come and offer thy gift "(Matthew 5:23-24).
Actually called to forgive one, each spouse will comply with the
recommendation of Jesus Christ: "If you do not forgive men, your father will
not forgive you your sins not" (Matthew 6.15).
This explains, if need be, why forgiveness is inseparable
from love and harmony. Expression of love, forgiveness in human relationships or marriage is important because it frees the bitterness, hatred, tension - in short, contrary to all feelings of
This exercise is often made more difficult between husband and wife when they
have a different spiritual maturity or when one of them is placed high on its
pedestal, believing flawless and considering the other as sinful or carnal.
Forgiveness called humility, her place both spouses on an equal footing.
Jacques puts us 4.6 does not he wisely cautioned: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the
humble"? Request or grant forgiveness is an expression of the
fear of God and an attitude of humility on the part of the man who demonstrated
a commitment not to return to the same fault. Thus, the spouse at fault, asking forgiveness, not try to explain to be right. His attitude and positive commitment, coupled with divine grace, will help make every effort not to reoffend.
That's why forgiveness following a fault can be repeated continuously emptied of
its meaning and sow doubt among the offended about the sincerity of the
The lack of forgiveness leads to many
consequences, both in human relationships as marriage among which: the inner
wounds, contempt, lack of consideration for each other and so on. Your spouse is your alter ego, it is necessary to consider the true value and to report all the consideration it deserves to make it actually in place. Otherwise, serious consequences may alter
the marital relationship as to render suspicious spouses.
Yet, the couple is called to live in confidence and in full transparency as two communicating vessels to remove any gray area.
Forgive without restriction can only be a divine gift, the
result of an attitude of fear of God. Otherwise, the faults
considered grave, beyond our human limitations, remain imperdonned.
Needless to say, it is important to ask God for this
gift to a harmonious life together.
The love that forgives and endures all things, as a dynamic forgiveness. Forgiveness requires the truth and the truth is Jesus Christ (John 14:6) because it is he who gives life and joy to the couple even when the wine runs out, as was the case in wedding at Cana.
To succeed fully forgive, we must give up the delusion, pride, lack of humility, a refusal to see
his own weaknesses that are poisonous to the couple and a denial of love.
May it please the Lord to grant us this grace. May the Lord bless you
and hear the desire of your heart!
1 Sometimes it takes a contrary set point before
forgiveness is truly effective (ie)